Go easy on me when I get busier and more selfish because I've never felt so motivated for school before, and because sometimes I really lack the energy to commit to a long-running conversation. 

I feel like for once I'm looking out for myself first and ignoring how everyone guilt trips me into spending time with them just because they know it'll work if they do that. You know that it works as well, and works too damn well, but you've yet to use this since forever and I don't know if it's because you don't want to play on my weakness or you honestly don't want to meet me anymore, but I truly hope it's the former. I miss you so much you've no idea. 

I feel this distance between us and I hate it and I don't know how to reconcile it because it seems like whatever I do just shows how little we have to talk about now and I can't bear to continue a conversation like that with you, like I would with a random stranger I'm meeting for the first time. 

Sick of losing people in my life and you know that so don't go. Give it awhile and maybe when we both start trying to close the gap, we'll be more understanding & forgiving and less demanding and it'll be okay again. Please let it be okay again.