Friday, February 24, 2012 22:30
I've always felt blessed for having true friends.
No significant guys in my life, but i can deal with that.
I have 6 awesome friends from St. Marg's,
and i wouldn't trade any of them for a guy.
They're enough to get me through life,
and i know i can count on them no matter what happens.
Entered JC making a resolution to not get close to anyone.
Just wanted to get this over and done with.
"We came, we saw, we conquered"
Remember rolling my eyes at my OGL,
telling me how friends make YJC so much better.
Why should I believe that?
Didn't want to get close to anyone cuz i'd only have 2 years with them.
Didn't want to deal with the heartbreak when we drift apart eventually.
And that's how life trolls you.
Typical case of murphy's law came true for me.
A simple secret kept from me made me realise the importance of our friendship.
It shouldn't bother me at all,
since i resolved to keep JC friends on a superficial level.
The hurt i was feeling made me realise I lost at my own game.
Building walls up to keep people out just didn't work.
Why should I feel so upset when superficial friends don't tell each other secrets?
Why feel hurt on a personal level when it shouldn't have involved me in the first place?
What makes me think I'm close enough to know secrets about you?
Who am i to confront you about keeping it from me?
So many questions, so much to think about.
Learnt that when true friends come along,
I can try all I want to keep them on a superficial level.
But i'd find myself gradually caring more for them, about them.
You can't choose to distance yourself, it doesn't work that way.
There'd always be this empty pit in your stomach if you don't establish your friendship.
So to all the friends I've made in JC,
I love you guys.
You've no idea how much you all have impacted me,
and I just hope that we are on the same wavelength when i talk about the closeness of our friendship.
Be prepared to get stuck with me for life,
cuz when i make friends, I don't let the good ones go.
♥
Friday, February 10, 2012 23:17
Today marked a milestone in my life.
From being a debater that stood in front of the room,
looking into the judges' eyes in hopes of scoring more style points,
To the one sitting in the Adjudicator's chair,
looking at the debater to detect eye-contact.
Felt so nostalgic as i walked into STC,
the familiar sign up booths, over-friendly ushers, etc.
Found out i was a main adj,
looked through the list to double confirm it,
looked thrice to see who else were main adjs.
Don't know what i did to deserve this chance, really.
Passion for debate is one thing but capability is another.
As i stood there giving feedback to the St. Andrew's debaters,
i kept thinking to myself,
if i were the one up there i would have made the same mistake.
And here i was, telling them to avoid making that mistake.
So instead of calling myself a hypocrite,
all these just drives my motivation to improve my skills.
And if i get the chance to go for MIDC this year,
it'll be all out, no matter whom im teamed up with, whatever people say.
Day started off horrible with my shitty GP results.
Worst i ever did, even in St. Margs.
Well at least i passed and dont have to clock in 10 hours of self study.
Got better when i met Amelia at Bishan.
Peaked when i felt the familiar nervous pounding of my heart in the middle of Round 1.
This day taught me so much.
Bad days wont stay bad if you do something about it.
