TO YOU;
yes you
you should know that im referring to you.

i'm sorry
for the way i shouted at you
for the things i wrongly accused you of
for the time when i took you for granted
for the words i used im upset.
For those times when i took advantage of you
for the arguments i started for nothing.
For the times when i got irritated
for the wrong thing i've said to you and others
for the times when i got easily agitated
and for not being there when you needed me the most.

Over this past month
i've realised that you mean much more to me
than just some stupid coursework.
i asked God why this had to happen
and He reminded me that sometimes,
the only way to get that horrid sin out of my life,
He'd have to break me.
Just like Peter, and when the cock crew twice. ( yes twice, dont argue )

& the worst part is that
i never realised what i was doing
everything i did affected you,
most of the times negatively.

When you started this cold war,
i had plenty of time to think.
i went through all the stuff you gave me,
all the cards you made for me.
That birthday present you made for me
though its falling apart now. (=x)

you gave me so much,
emotionally as well.
and here i was complaining that you dont understand,
while others arnd tell me that
they so badly want you to give these things to them.
you told Sarah that you like to give handmade things
cuz they mean much more then just spending money

and when i looked at all the stuff you gave me,
i just wonder how i could have missed it.
how i just brushed aside
all the time and effort you gave and made for me.

i really dono wad to say anymore.
its like you were there all along
and i was looking past you.
so now i put on my specs and i can see clearly
but you've already walked away.

i'm sorry,
and i mean it more than words can say.
i want to go back,
to when we both had so much to say to each other,
with no tension at all.

i know God has a plan and purpose in my life
and everything He does
is just part of His perfect will.
So He made me see things clearly
and i really hope you'd forgive me.

and you know what?
the card you gave me that touched me the most
had the title "i saw God through you"